The fact this little blog is up and running has me laughing and shaking my head. Since late last summer, I had planned to relocate to Denver by this time - this month actually! I handed in my formal resignation to my school the Friday before spring break, updated my resume, had looked at speech language pathology jobs in Denver, and then along came Covid-19. The Monday when we were supposed to return to school, I felt paralyzed with fear. "What have I done?!?!" I contemplated rescinding my resignation. Yet, in those panic-filled moments, the Holy Spirit instead filled my mind and asked, "Why?" Ahh... tiny word that can pack a punch. It took no time to recognize the decision to stay would have been rooted in fear and wanting a sense of control and security when everything felt the opposite. Not the best reasons to make a decision that, up until then, I had peace about for more than 6 months.
Just to add more spice to life, I moved into Todd and Erin Cartrite's back-house at the end of March. This had been planned months prior since my roommate at the time, Justine, was getting married. I met and became friends with a couple across the street from the Cartrites, Eli and Caitlin Garza. The "Quarantine Crew" was born. Life stories were quickly shared in the front yard and front porch. And what do you know? Caitlin had once attended a Bible school in northwest England. She lived in a castle on a sheep farm. Well, good for her, haha! Honestly, it came in one ear and went out the other. Navigating virtual speech therapy sessions and Zoom meetings were about all I could mentally handle. There was no time to pine over someone else's British Bible adventures.
Fast-forward a month later, April 25th. Erin and I threw Caitlin a British-themed, quarantine birthday party in the backyard. Decorations were too easy to come by because I owned more than plenty. Little did Caitlin know this was what we had planned for her, and little did I know what she was about to share with me. "Jessica, you need to go to the Bible school in England." I think those were her exact words...? Hard to recall when I felt like someone backed into a record player on accident and the music abruptly screeched to a halt. Erin had this look on her face, her eyes widening as she shared, "I wasn't going to say anything, but I had this feeling two weeks ago that Denver wasn't going to be your next move." Whoa there! I thought, "Have they been in cahoots this whole time? Was this planned?" This was the last thing I wanted to talk about at someone’s birthday party! We pressed on, enjoyed the evening, then I returned to the back-house with my mind and my heart racing.
As I was washing the dishes, I could not shake the feeling that a very large, British, Bible-reading elephant had now entered the room and the Lord was trying to get my attention. Finally, I stopped washing, looked up and cried out, "God, what do You want me to do with THIS information?" Caitlin and I texted late into the night about the school - Capernwray Bible School. Quickly, I researched their website, Facebook and YouTube videos. One of the first messages I found had a part that captivated me. The professor ran through a list of people in the Bible who would have felt disqualified or hindered from use by the Lord: Abraham was too old, Sarah couldn't conceive and was too old, Moses was a murderer, stutterer and died too soon, David was a shepherd boy, Martha a worry-wart, Paul a murderer, etc. The professor finished the list of names and their excuses with, "Now, what's your excuse?" The question echoed in my mind. "Jessica, what's your excuse?" "Well, God, since you asked, I got a few." But what is an excuse to the Almighty God!?
For the next three weeks, I avoided making any decision on Capernwray. Meanwhile. I had just begun reading a 40-day prayer devotional called, "Draw the Circle," by Mark Batterson and it could not have been more timely. If I had prayed about something or talked about something with a friend the day before, bam, the next day the book referenced it or a verse in scripture provided an answer that I was needing to hear! There are no coincidences with the Lord, only providence. One of those providential examples from God's word came through the story of Joshua as the Israelites faced the flood waters of the Jordan River. They were separated from the promised land only by a river and the Lord instructed the priests to carry the Ark of the Covenant as they put their feet in the flood waters. They got their feet wet, in faith and in action, and as long as the Ark of the Covenant was in the Jordan, the Israelites were provided safety in passing onto the banks of their promised land. (Joshua 3) Hmm, so it begged the question, "What does it look like for me to get my feet wet?" APPLY, JESSICA, JUST APPLY. James 4:17 (NIV), "If anyone then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn't do it, it is sin for them." Into week three, it became apparent that not applying and instead looking at jobs in Denver was an act of disobedience.
Do you know what the risk is in applying for something, though? You just might get accepted. HA! And that's what happened! And here I am and here you are reading this! The reality is the Lord could have said no. If He had, I know it would have been out of a heart of love, a posture of grace, and the time invested in praying, journaling, reading, and processing would NOT have been in vain. After all, as Isaiah 46:9-10 (NLT) declares, "Remember the things I have done in the past. For I alone am God! I am God, and there is none like me. Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish." Even though I know geographically where I am going, where this will lead and what doors will be opened after the term is finished in the middle of March remains hidden. I will be treating this as a sabbatical. Nonetheless, I am at peace knowing the One that already has my days marked out says, "(Jessica), I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you," Psalm 32:8 (NIV).
From what I know thus far, here’s the content for the term. Old Testament books: Genesis, 1 and 2 Samuel, Ruth, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Lamentations, and The Minor Prophets. New Testament books: Gospels of Mark and John, Romans, 1 Corinthians, Ephesians, and Hebrews. And topical studies: crafting a Christian worldview, eschatology, introduction to the Bible, prayer, personal evangelism, planetwise, attributes of God, the church, the father heart of God, the person and work of the Holy Spirit, Sermon on the Mount, and world religions. Of course, they're subject to change!
For some of you reading this, I've gotten to share this life update with you in person, and it has been so encouraging and affirming for me to see and hear your reaction to this news. And when you've asked, "Are you going to raise support? Will you fundraise? Will you send me a link? Are you going to share anything on Facebook or a blog?" I have felt so loved, overwhelmed at times! So, after praying and processing through some of my fears about even applying for Capernwray, and being encouraged by my community group to invite folks into this journey with me, I am raising support to help fund part of this (goal is $4,500). This would be allocated towards part of the tuition and obtaining the necessary medical insurance the U.K. requires of international students. Capernwray will make their final decision about opening back up for the winter term by August 3. Currently, they are intending to open as scheduled. We are to report to Capernwray on Saturday, September 19th with classes starting Monday, September 21st. All fees and payments for the program are due by September 5th. I've asked Danielle Lunningham to be another pair of eyes to help me manage the fundraising portion.
In closing out this inaugural post, I want to say thanks for your time and overall support in this adventure! I do not post on Facebook and do not have Instagram. So I will utilize this blog to post updates and hopefully, if God turns all the lights GREEN, photos and updates from Capernwray.
This sojourner is grateful, truly.
Jessica